The morning workaround, for an early hours hater

Yup, that's me

Yup, that’s me

Mornings, to me, are like a bleach stain on a favourite shirt: something that should never be there. I should never be involved with mornings in any way. Specifically, anything active that happens before 8 am – 9 am preferably and 10 am ideally, though unrealistically – is not meant to be for me.

Which isn’t to say that I can’t “do” mornings. I did, for years. I was quite adept at pulling myself out of bed at 6 am and sometimes even sooner, dragging myself into the shower, dressing and grooming myself adequately, finding something to eat on the go, picking up my pre-packed belongings, reaching down to clumsily tie my shoelaces while cursing the night-borne tightness in my back, throwing on a jacket if the weather required it, and stumbling out the door.

In the years that I commuted to Toronto, I managed to put one foot in front of the other well enough to get to my local bus stop, where I waited for the bus that took me to the nearest GO Train station, where I boarded the train and set my still-weary body down to rest. Yes, I still desired more rest.

True awakening rarely occurred before 10 am. Wherever I could, I tried to arrange for all my pre-10 am activities to be the automatic chores that I had done a hundred times before and didn’t require any mental re-wiring. In one particular job, it meant turning on a series of lights, tape machines and computers in a large room full of post-production broadcast equipment.

The worst mornings came during my news writing days, the nearly four years that kick-started my journalism career. Those were the early hours that I vow never to revisit. Not only did I have to be up around 5 am – horribly unpleasant for me – but I had to be in Toronto for around 7:20 and shortly thereafter sit down to produce my first news story of the day. That first story was the lead story and was published to the front page of the website, providing easy access for our website visitors to find – and point out, often with an air of unwarranted superiority – any mistake I might have made. Shockingly, I didn’t make many.

The reason for my lack of early morning mistake-making was simple: in those wee hours, I made a point to keep everything simple. I knew I was barely awake and certainly not functioning on any efficient level, so I broke all my duties down to a basic level. In terms of getting that first story written and published, this meant using simple, straightforward copy (written matter/text) and saving the clever wordsmithing for later. On my weariest days, I would borrow some words from the other news writers and the news wire services. On a digital platform, this is simply a matter of copying and pasting. When I did this, I made sure to abide steadfastly by the rules: namely, do not use more than x number of consecutive words verbatim. I made certain that the headline and opening paragraphs were all mine and dissimilar from anyone else’s. So, I did have to think creatively for a brief period of time. And, I did have to carefully copyedit my work before it went live. That’s just par for the course in the journalism world. But I forced my mind work only as much as was absolutely necessary, with the understanding that it would begin producing more automatically and efficiently in a matter of hours.

When I sat down to write this article, I thought (briefly) about creating a list: 10 things you can do to function better in the morning. But I don’t care for such lists. You can easily find dozens of them online with a simple search. I always aim to provide insight of some sort, because I’m always trying to understand how to get through things that I’d rather not have to try to get through. That’s extra tough in the case of mornings, which of course happen every day.

Mornings have always been a nagging burden for me. The polar opposite is true as the day wears on and all those unbearably irritating morning people (my wife, for instance) get progressively more tired. I can come home from work, eat, do a few chores, and still have the energy for a workout. This is AFTER having been awake for more than 12 hours. But don’t ask me to get up extra early and accomplish anything of significance. Notice in the second paragraph I said that I pick up my pre-packed belongings in the morning. This is because I organize everything the night before, since I understand that my brain is pure mush in the pre-daylight hours and I won’t remember to pull such and such necessary item (wallet, keys, lip balm, smart phone) from this or that drawer before leaving the house.

Now that I’m a freelance writer and journalist, I don’t have to worry much about any of that early morning nonsense. My hours are flexible and erratic, with the only stipulation being that actual work must get done at some point. Yes, deadlines are met.

It’s been years since I’ve had to worry about those morning university exams in which I always scored lower than in my afternoon or evening exams. And, it will be years yet until I have to babysit grandkids that (God forbid) wake me up during my REM sleep. I see myself making a deal with my wife that she can’t possibly refuse: you take the most precious hours (4 am – 7 am) emergencies I’ll take all other unplanned awakenings.

Of course there will always be those few early morning meetings and clients with demands that just couldn’t be met the night before. In these instance and for family responsibilities, I’ll cheerfully rise to the occasion. I’ll try to remember everything that’s told to me, and I’ll do my best to make the brain click. Unless you’re right beside me, you probably won’t know the difference between early rising Erich and happy Erich. The work will get done regardless of the wicked number on the clock, and it will be suitably impressive because that’s a habit that must know no time boundaries.

Still, I can’t wait for 10 am.

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